If I Had...

If I had an extra $112 i would buy these shoes i designed to train for and run my next marathon in honor of my sister Michelle...

Beautiful Disaster

I woke up to a beautiful disaster this morning. Poop everywhere, well all over me and my side of the bed anyway. But in all that grossness seeing Nehemiahs smiling face greeting me in the morning as i wake up somehow makes eveything better. So baby got a well needed bath this morning. Speaking of which he's really starting to love bath time, although i couldn't get him to smile for this picture

Our Big Splurge

So i've been eye-balling this Rainforest "Jumperoo" play thing for Nehemiah for the last month. I never bought it because its like a hundred bucks, but today we decided to splurge and just get it for our baby. Needless to say...he doesnt like it, what a waste...

HAlleR!!!

So Im VERY EXCITED. My wonderful, lovable, adorable husband took me to Golds Gym to get a membership!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED, its all a little TMTH... I feel like im young again, lol, i know that doesnt really make sence but the last time i had a pass to the gym was when life was good and i worked out daily (like 2 years ago). But now Stela's gonna get her goove back! haha. For some reason there is something liberating about being able to go to the gym and work on myself. I want to be "fat" again, well at least the siZe i was when i thought i was fat. Wish me luck....

SLakiN

Okay, So i know I've been slakin on the picture of the day, but for good reason. I decided to decorate Nehemiah room. We used to have a big old ugly full size bed taking up the whole room, and really we just had it for guests, which we get once in a blue moon. So i decided to take out the bed and really make it Nehemiahs room. I painted the walls, as you can see, and I also painted his armwa (I have no idea how it spell it). I'm particularly proud of how that came out. It used to be a boring natural green color, including the 4 squares but i used my creativity to make it not only WAY cutter but to match Nehemiahs crib. So i painted it, got some really cool bamboo handles (you cant tell from the pic), and took out those squares lined them with padding then i Gorilla glued the material to the wood, then put them back. I'm very proud of myself. Nehemiah even really likes it. He's drawn in by the paint on the walls.

Outfit of the Day

Chris came up with the idea of outfit of the day and post it. That way it is an excuse to put new pictures up of Nehemiah and also to show off his adorable cloths that he really doesnt get a chance to do. So thank you to all of you who have contributed to Nehemiah wardrobe...mama loves it!

love this pic

The Drive Home

The drive home was horrendous, i couldn't tell you how i managed. We had to leave Bend Monday night at 10pm,drive threw the night to be in Malad ID (13 miles north of the Utah border) by 9:15am for court. And of course i had to do all the driving because my lovely husband has a suspended licence. As my baby slept so peacefully and Chris snored the night away, i found myself dozing off...So, i decided i needed an energy drink of some sort, so i stopped at the next gas station and decided to buy one of those 5 hour energy shots. It was the weirdest experience ever. I've drunk energy drinks by the gallons in my college days but nothing has ever affected me like this shot of energy. within a minute of drinking it i could instantly feel my eyes open big, and the energy entering my system. But then i began to burn up, my skin turned florescent red and began to burn. my body compensated by sweating... so lovely. this lasted about 20 minutes then it went away. So did it work you ask? of course it did, for 20 minutes of torture. We made it to Malad, went to court, stopped at Jack in the Box, then powered it all the way home to bozeman...

I decided to crown my self Driving Diva, due to my ability to drive with lack of sleep threw the night, morning, and late afternoon on no sleep, and really lame CDs.

I tried to focus on the beautiful scenery threw Idaho and Montana.

17 miles to go and i spotted the lovely weather ahead, a beautiful rain storm. (notice the dark storm clouds). I suppose coming home to a rain storm is much better than a snow storm.

more oregon

The day we woke up to venture to Oregon, this is what we woke up to. and yes it is the MIDDLE of JUNE!!!!
Nehemiah got to see his grandma and grandpa moss for the second time
Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers here is a pic of my uncle jon and his baby girl sophia michelle

With all of us pointing we still had a hard time getting grandpa to notice his fathers day present...
A new grill!!!!!!

oregon trip

Well we had a really fun extended weekend full of mountain biking, waterfall jumping, white water rafting, boating, paintball gunning, shooting, scooter riding, eating out, playing pool, watching Lakers loose, teeth cleaning, and driving...did i mention DRIVING.

the boys with mom getting ready for their mountain biking trip. (unfortunately i couldn't go with a baby....tear)
the girls were feeling like Xena Princess warriors with their war paintthe guys decided to jump in the newly melted snow, full force (Andy couldn't fully commitLuke and Christopher enjoying the falls

Kolone Family

So Im going to Oregon in two days and i cant hardly wait. I get to see my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jon and their 5 beautiful children! Im so greatful for the Wiley family and all the support they have given me. This pic is just one of the small examples, my aunt kathy flew out to utah from Oregon just to see me run my marathon. I really cant wait to have a vacation and be able to realax and be with family in a non stressful situation. Plus theres a bonus for me cause Brandon and Celina are going too, so Ill get to see my little Sean Sean and Micheal Angel. Bend is a really beautiful place and IM SO EXCITED!!!! Hopefully the weather is better than Bozeman cause the weather SUCKS over here!!!

Eight Months

It's been eight months today, since i lost my sister. The anxiety from the mark of this day is starting to relieve, and i thought i would write my feelings down, for the first time. You know threw this whole experience i have fighted the urges to regret. I dont want to regret because i dont want to have to deal with that pain for the rest of my life. But i find myself miserable from the regret i feel about mine and michelles relationship before she got sick. I regret that our real sister bonding had to happen in the hospital. It tears my heart apart when i think about how many times i could have done more for our relationship growing up. And now i sit here alone at my computer thinking about the best friend i could have had. I think about what we would be doing right now, if she were still here. She would be graduating from high school next week and i know planning on going to school in the fall. She would probably come up to montana and stay with us for a good portion of the summer to be with the baby and i. I complain all the time about not having friends, i just want one friend who will walk with me or go to the gym with me or scrapbook with me or simply hang out with me. I would have had that friend. The anxiety is so immense my inside tighten up threw my neck making me incapable of swallowing. My heart physically aches in such an unbearable pain, i rely on that inner peace i know she put there to relieve the reality of what has happened. I miss her. but i know she's around. On a regular occurance I'll walk in on the baby laying on our bed by himslef laughing and playing with someone that i dont see. shes there. I just wish she was with me like that. I cant beieve it's been eight months, the number is so insignificat, it just that it's time. Time i could have had with her.

Almost an all-nighter

So one of chris's friends on the football team has a nintendo 64 that he so geneously let us borrow yesturday... We played all day and all evening it wasn't until the wee hours of the morning (about 4:00am when i decided it was probably the best idea to pull an all nighter playing nintendo...because of course i didn't think i was physically capable of going to bed so late and being in sacrament at 9 am. And of course its so much more fun playing without a baby in your lap suppressing your ability to beat your cocky husband at his own game. To make a long story short... we didnt make it all night and in consiquence we didnt make it to church either (i didnt set an alarm). I guess that is why the lord warns us to stay away from addicting things.... lesson learned